


Nightmares and Thunderstorms

by JustAJellyfish, obsessedauthorchan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cuddles, Eren figured out something was up, Eren is the big spoon, Fluff, Levi finally decided to trust him, Levi has a nightmare, Levi is afraid of thunder, Levi is the little spoon, Love Confessions, M/M, does this count as angst?, thunderstorm, vulnerable Levi is vulnerable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 15:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6526237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAJellyfish/pseuds/JustAJellyfish, https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessedauthorchan/pseuds/obsessedauthorchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren knew something was wrong. Now he just has to try and fix it. Will Levi accept his help though? Or will he push him away like he does everyone else?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares and Thunderstorms

**Author's Note:**

> It rains a lot where I live, and so the inspiration for this struck like lightning. So here it is. Enjoy.

Eren hated the dungeon. He hated that he had to sleep there. It was better than being dissected by the Military Police, but that didn't mean it was enjoyable.

It had been worse when they made him wear those chains. Captain Levi would lock him in every night and let him out in the morning. It was demeaning. It made him feel like an animal, let out during the day, but once it turned to night he was shut up in his cage again.

Eventually, though, Captain Levi seemed to trust him more. He stopped chaining his wrists to the bed. A few months later, he stopped locking the door of his cell. Then, Eren noticed there was no longer a guard on duty to keep watch during the night while the Captain slept. Levi just walked him down, made sure he got in bed, then let him be.

This night had been no different. At least, in that aspect. Captain Levi had walked him down and then left the moment Eren was in bed. But Eren noticed something was off about his Captain. 

The man was usually quiet, not talking unless necessary, but he had been even quieter tonight. Normally, Levi barely spared Eren a glance, but tonight he had kept staring at him, an unreadable expression in his eyes. Normally, Levi stuck around long enough for Eren to tell him goodnight. Tonight, he left before Eren could even draw a breath.

Eren knew something was off. And when something was off with the Captain, that meant something was wrong. He could feel it. Just as he could feel the storm brewing outside.

Eren had gone to bed around 10:30. At 11:15, the rain started, and Eren had barely closed his eyes long enough to blink. He was too busy worrying about the Captain. At 11:34, when the first peal of thunder shook the castle, Eren could definitely feel that something was wrong, something having to do with Captain Levi.

When he was still awake at 1 in the morning, Eren sighed and sat up in bed. Listening to the sounds of the rain and thunder, he could tell that tonight's storm was worse than normal. They hadn't seen a storm like this in years.

Sighing again, Eren stood up from the bed. He knew he wouldn't get any sleep until he had made sure the Captain was alright. He quietly got dressed and tiptoed from the dungeons, making his way to Levi's room.

When he got there, Eren paused to listen at the door. He heard panting. And whimpering. Eren's first thought was that Levi was having sex. After further listening, however, he recognized the sound of someone thrashing around on a bed, and the whimpers were clearly from fear, not pleasure.

Eren's eyes widened at the realization. Something was wrong, very wrong. Without another thought, he silently eased open the door and crept into the room, shutting the door behind him. Luckily, Levi's OCD was extended to squeaky hinges, so his entry was completely void of noise.

Eren stood there, in Levi's room, watching as the Captain panted and occasionally thrashed in his sleep, obviously suffering from a nightmare. Eren considered waking him up, but he realized Levi probably wouldn't take too kindly to Eren being in his room, while he was asleep, no less.

So the young brunette just stood there, watching, waiting for something to happen, for something to change. Eren noticed that Levi's face looked different while he slept. Younger, somehow. He saw the clear lines of pain and fear etched into the smooth skin of his face, and Eren wanted to do something, anything, to make that go away. Even if all he got in return for his effort was a glare and a good beating, he would take it to help the Captain.

Just as the shifter was moving closer to Levi to wake him up, an especially bright flash of lightning and loud crack of thunder shook the room, and Levi jolted awake. The young Captain jerked up into a sitting position, his eyes desperately raking the room for a sign of intruder, or that his dream had been real.

The moment Levi's eyes landed on Eren, the raven was out of bed and rushing toward him. Eren's eyes widened, afraid Levi was going to kill him for his intrusion. Levi surprised him, though, when instead of beating him, the Captain pulled him into a hug.

Eren stood there, utterly confused, before he finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around Levi's shoulders. The raven tightened his hold on Eren's waist. "What are you doing in my room, Jaegar?"

Eren gulped loudly. He knew he needed to tell the truth. It wasn't like he could think of a good lie anyway. "I felt like something was wrong. I had to make sure... I had to know that you were okay."

Levi seemed to lean more into the embrace at Eren's words, burrowing his head into the teen's chest. "What made you think something was wrong?"

"You were acting strange today."

Levi didn't say anything for a moment, but he didn't let go. "I knew there was going to be a storm tonight... How long have you been in here?"

Hesitating, Eren finally responded. "Maybe 15 minutes. You seemed like you were having a nightmare, but I didn't know what to do to help."

Another loud boom of thunder reverberated through the sky, and Levi shuddered slightly, his hands gripping onto Eren's shirt. "Will you stay?"

Eren's jaw dropped. The vulnerability in the Captain's voice was one thing he had never heard, or imagined hearing, before in his life. And just as shocking was the fact that Levi didn't want Eren to leave. "F-for as long as you want me to." Eren would stay until the second Levi kicked him out, and not a second less.

Levi immediately pulled out of the impromptu embrace and grabbed Eren's wrist, pulling the teen to the bed and having him take off his shoes. Pushing the brunette down, Levi crawled onto the bed and lay next to Eren, wrapping his arms around his middle. "You're warm."

Eren, hesitantly, wrapped his own arms around Levi, pulling the man slightly closer. "Good. It's cold enough without you hugging an icicle."

"Do you mind me hugging you?"

Eren felt himself smile slightly. "Not at all."

Levi nodded his head and sighed, relaxing completely into Eren's arms. "Did I say anything?"

"When?"

"When I was asleep, brat. During the nightmare, did I say anything?"

Eren shook his head. "No words. At least, not that I heard..." Eren wasn't sure if it was wise to continue, but he did anyway. Honesty was the best policy, especially when you were talking to someone who always knew when you were lying. "You kind of... whimpered though. Quite a bit, actually."

Levi seemed to cringe at the whispered words, though he didn't pull away from Eren. "Anything else?"

"Panting. You were panting. And you'd thrash around on the bed every few minutes." Levi nodded, forehead rubbing against Eren's shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it? Talking about my nightmares usually helps me."

Levi hesitated. "You have nightmares, too?"

Eren nodded. "All the time. Some of them are memories, like watching my mom get eaten, but on repeat. Some are just my screwed up imagination throwing a party with my fears, showing me images of killing everyone I care about and destroying humanity instead of saving it."

Levi hummed quietly, then was silent for a few minutes. "On my first expedition," he began, "it rained. Hard. Like it is now. The wind was blowing and the thunder was crashing. You couldn't see the Titans coming, and you couldn't hear them walking because it sounded just like the thunder..."

Eren was quiet while Levi thought about how to continue. "Do you know how I ended up in the Survey Corps?"

"No. Petra told me once that you were some kind of criminal or something, but she didn't really know anything more than that."

A peal of thunder sounded and Levi squeezed Eren tighter, pulling himself flush against the teen's side. Eren rolled onto his side, taking the initiative to pull Levi into his arms and hold him against his chest. He stroked the raven's back as he shook against Eren's chest.

After a few minutes, Levi slightly relaxed and continued talking. "I was a thug, in a city beneath Wall Rose. My friend, Farlan, and I stole some maneuver gear and taught ourselves how to use it. We took jobs that paid enough to support us, and we were saving up to buy passage to the surface world. Eventually a girl named Isabel joined us. You remind me a lot of her."

Eren took that as a compliment, but he remained silent. He just continued to rub small circles into Levi's lower back, taking in everything. 

"One day, a man tried to hire us for a job. He basically forced us to help him. The job was to steal certain papers form Erwin Smith, and then kill him."

Swallowing down a gasp, Eren couldn't help but pause in his ministrations on Levi's back, but he quickly recovered, returning to his previous activity and humming slightly to let Levi know to continue.

"Obviously, we failed. We had tried to find the papers, but Erwin kept them on his person, so it was going to be more complicated than we'd thought. When we found out about the upcoming expedition, we decided to use it to our advantage..."

"I had tried to get them to stay behind. I had really tried. But they... Eren, do you remember on that first expedition, when we ran into the Female Titan, and I told you to choose between trusting yourself and trusting your squad?"

Eren nodded. "Yeah. I remember."

"Well, I'm starting to think that was shit advice. Isabel used it on me. That's where I got it from. That's how they convinced me to let them come. They asked me to trust them. I did."

"We got outside the walls, and then it began to rain. The three of us were from underground, so we hadn't had to deal with storms, but we weren't concerned. We could barely see anything, though. Eventually, we came to the point where we figured it would be best to get the papers from Eyebrows and kill him. We couldn't all go, because it would be suspicious, so I went by myself."

"I was riding, hard and fast, trying to catch up with Erwin. I came to this field. It was littered with bodies, mangled corpses. You know, the usual mess made when a Titan is involved. There was only one man still alive when I got there. He died shortly after I arrived. His last words were warning me about the Titan that had killed all those soldiers. The Titan that had headed off in the same direction I had come from, in the direction of Isabel and Farlan. We had passed each other, and I didn't realize because of the storm."

Eren swallowed. He knew what was coming next. "You don't have to keep going if you don't want to. If it's too hard, yo-"

"No. I need to tell you."

Nodding, Eren did what he could to pull Levi even closer, resting his chin on the raven's head and effectively warding off the effects of the next boom of thunder. "Okay. But you can stop whenever you want."

"I know. Thank you." They lay there in silence for a few minutes. Eren took the time to silently marvel at what was happening. Levi had hugged him, shown weakness, thanked him, opened up about himself, and was currently cuddling with Eren. All were things Eren didn't think would happen in a million life times.

"I turned around and rode back toward Isabel and Farlan. I pushed the horse to go as fast as possible. I finally reached them. You know what I found?"

Eren swallowed harshly, his voice coming out a hushed whisper. "What?"

"Isabel's head. Nothing else, just her head. Eyes open, staring right at me. Green eyes. Eyes full of life and happiness. Like yours. But those eyes weren't happy anymore. There was no life in them anymore. They were dead. Empty. Cold. Hollow."

Eren took a deep breath. The pain in Levi's voice was tangible. Eren didn't know what to do, what to say, how to help. All he could do was be there and listen, so that's what he did.

"I heard noises, almost like choking sounds. I looked up from Isabel's head to find the Titan that had killed her, only to see the upper half of Farlan's body fall from its lips. His eyes were open, too, blue eyes, cold and still as water."

"I killed the Titan. It was overkill. Way overkill. I cut off its head and stabbed it a bunch of times and cut it to pieces. It felt so good. But then it was dead. There was nothing more I could do. They were my friends, my family, and I had lost them. For all my skill, I couldn't save the two people who meant everything to me."

"I decided to stay in the Corps after that. I decide to follow Erwin, because I was alone and lost and he seemed to know what he was doing, where he was going. I could follow him. And I could know it was all worth it."

Eren hummed, honored that Levi had chosen to share this with him. His most painful memory, a story so few people knew. 

"Whenever it storms badly, I have the same dream. I watch them die. I watch them screaming my name, begging me to save them. But I don't. I fail them. Thunder...there's always thunder." Levi swallowed thickly and shuddered. He was obviously holding back emotion.

"It wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, it was."

"No, it wasn't. They made their own choice. You didn't make the choice for them. They decided to go on the expedition. They made their decisions. You can't blame yourself because they weren't strong enough to save themselves. If they died because of you, then they lived because of you. If you made the choice for them to die, then you made all of their choices. It means they didn't live outside of you. It means they were totally dependant on you for everything. It means they weren't their own person. It means they were yours to control. Did you control them, Levi?"

"... No. Isabel would have thrown a fit if I tried to control her, and Farlan was too stubborn to let me."

"Then it wasn't your fault they died."

Levi pulled away slightly to look up at Eren's face. After several moments of staring into each other's eyes (which was kind of weird) Levi spoke again. "Thank you, Eren."

The brunette felt a warm feeling inside when he heard Levi say his name. Levi never called him Eren. It was always Jaegar or brat or something. "You don't have to thank me."

"I do. I do have to thank you. All I do is treat you like shit and here I am dumping all my crap on you. I'm forcing you to lay here with me and every time there's thunder I squeeze you hard enough to make you pop. That deserves a thank you. A lot of what you do deserves a thank you, but I never give you one. So thank you."

Eren's jaw dropped and he struggled to figure out how to speak. The look in Levi's eyes was indecipherable, though they showed far more feeling than Eren had ever seen in them before. He found himself to be rather defensive, almost angry, at the idea that Levi thought he didn't want to be here, that Levi wasn't worth it.

"Levi, you aren't forcing me to lay here with you. I want to be here. You aren't dumping your crap on me. I asked. You don't treat me like shit. You treat me like a soldier who can take it, instead of a kid who could brake at the drop of a hat. I don't mind being squeezed hard enough to pop. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't pulled away. I like being this close to you. I'm honored that you would tell me the things you've told me. Don't thank me. Because if you do, then I'll have to thank you for letting me in. No thank yous allowed. We don't need them."

Eren could finally read Levi's expression. It was one of awe. "Are you sure?"

Eren nodded, feeling brave enough to rest his forehead against Levi's. "I'm sure. I want to be here."

"For how long?"

"For as long as you let me."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Why don't you think I can keep that promise?"

"Everybody leaves. My father. My mother. My uncle. Isabel and Farlan. My squad. Every one of the people I have cared about in my life has left. Why would you be any different?"

Eren tried to hide that he was hurt by this, choosing to focus on the part where Levi basically said he cared about him. "Levi, I'm a Titan Shifter. I am the definition of different. When I make up my mind about something, nothing can make me change it. I am one of the most determined people you will ever meet. Currently, I am determined to stay. Nothing can change that. Nothing can stop me. I can't even stop me. I'm here, Levi. I'm here to stay."

Thunder shook the room again, making Levi shiver on Eren's arms. "What if you die?" His voice sounded broken and terrified, like he had worried about that very thing for a long time.

"I won't. I can't. Shifter, remember? You are stuck with me.  Even if I did die I would just hang around you in ghost form forever. Maybe steal your tea leaves and track dirt everywhere, just so you know I'm there, just to get your attention. When you get past the fact that you are extremely terrifying, it's actually pretty fun to irritate you, because you get so worked up over things like tea and cleaning. It's amusing, to be completely honest. And I like it too much to stop, at least, not entirely. You can't escape me that easy, Levi. Whether you want me or not, whether you get tired of me or not, I'm here to stay."

The smallest of smiles graced Levi's lips. "I don't want to escape you," he whispered, moving a little closer to Eren. "And I won't get tired of you."

Eren smiled, but the expression faltered and he bit his lip. "And what about the other part? Do you want me, Levi?"

The raven nodded. "Yes, Eren. I want you." Eren's smile returned and they sat like that for a minute before Levi spoke. "Eren?"

"Yes?"

"... Would you... can I... I am going to kiss you." Eren didn't even have time to say 'please do' before Levi's lips leaned forward and gently met his own.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it only took half of one to make Eren lose all train of thought, to make him forget how to breathe. Then Levi pulled away, and Eren's lips tried to follow Levi's. The Captain smirked when he saw that.

"Was that your first kiss, Eren?"

Eren blushed furiously and nodded, expecting Levi to tell him he was terrible at it. Instead, Levi allowed a soft, fond smile to appear, a look of open adoration on his face. "Thank you for trusting me with your first."

Eren smiled. "There was never anyone else I wanted to give it to. Only ever you."

Levi looked skeptical. "What about Mikasa? Not even her?"

Eren laughed softly. "Especially not her. She is my sister. I don't care if we are related by blood. She's family. I don't kiss my family members, Levi. Besides, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not overly interested in the female population."

Levi smiled again. He hugged Eren tight, trying to force his body closer. Eren knew, however, that if they were any closer, they'd be in the same body. "What did you mean earlier, when you said I was acting strange?"

"You weren't talking at all."

"I was too busy thinking."

"You kept staring at me with a weird look on your face."

"I was wishing I could stay with you. That I wouldn't have to be alone tonight."

Eren's eyes widened. A small smile crossed his face as he hummed. "You left really fast. I didn't even have time to tell you goodnight."

"I was afraid that if I stayed any longer I wouldn't have the strength to leave. And I wanted to get to my room before the storm started so I wouldn't freak out in the middle of the hallway surrounded by my subordinates because of a little thunder."

They were quiet for a few minutes before Levi spoke again. He seemed to be initiating a lot of conversation lately. "Eren, why do you want me? Why do you want to be here? What could you possibly see in me?"

The brunette hummed as he thought, running his fingers through Levi's raven locks. "I see a man, broken but not shattered, who fights with all he has left to give. I see a man, a strong man, immovable in this war for freedom, standing firm against everything life throws his way. I see a man who's unbreakable, because he has already broken. I see Humanity's Strongest. Strongest mind, strongest body, strongest will, strongest soul." Eren broke eye contact with Levi, suddenly feeling rather shy. "I see the man I admired as a child, the man I always wanted to be when I grew up. When my mom found out I wanted to join the Survey Corps, that I wanted to be like you, she was furious. She tried to make me promise not to join you, but I couldn't do that, because every time the Corps would come riding through Shiganshina, I would stand on some box to get a better view and I'd watch, trying to recognize any of the people in the throng of soldiers. I always looked for you. And when I found you, all I could think was that I was going to be like you some day. Fighting for humanity, giving us all a chance to conquer the Titans, doing everything I could to fight our enemy, our captors, our masters."

"It only makes sense that that admiration would turn into something more. Or maybe it had always been something more. I don't really know. But I do know what I see. I see the man I love. That's not something I can, or want to, change. It's not a secret I want to keep anymore. And you can always tell when I'm lying, so it's not like that would have done any good." Eren searched Levi's face, reveling in how many emotions Levi was allowing him to see. Shock. Awe. Doubt. And, perhaps, just a smaller version of what Eren was sure reflected in his own eyes. Love. "I love you, Captain Levi."

Levi swallowed thickly. He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Eren's nose, on each cheek, on his forehead, and, finally, on his lips. "I love you, Eren Jaegar. Even if you can't clean worth shit."

Eren grinned, laughing softly. "I promise I'm working on that."

"I know," he replied, smiling softly. "I can tell. You been getting steadily better. I was rather impressed, actually."

"All for you, Oh Captain, my Captain." Eren chuckled slightly, green eyes sparkling with joy at the unexpected turn of events.

Levi hummed in appreciation, pushing Eren on his back and snuggling up to his side. He lay his head on Eren's shoulder, his arms firmly wrapped around the younger's waist. Eren's fingers ran up and down Levi's arm. His other hand carded through Levi's silky hair for a moment before letting it come down to link with Levi's hand on his stomach.

The storm had mostly calmed at this point. Levi was completely relaxed, and so the next peal of thunder affected him more than the others. It was sudden, loud, and unexpected. Levi was unprepared. His whole body jerked at the loud crash and he gripped tighter onto Eren, digging his head into the brunette's shoulder.

He whimpered a little, due to being caught completely off guard. Eren swallowed at the sound. He wanted to help, to make Levi feel safe. But how?

"Levi, roll over."

"What?"

"Roll over, on your other side."

Hesitantly, Levi complied. It was probably hard for him to give his back to someone else. He had spent years guarding it. Now, to give it up to someone, it was like going against his nature. But he did it anyway, and Eren was honored by how much Levi trusted him.

Eren rolled over, too, and wrapped his arms around Levi from behind, effectively spooning him. Burrowing his face in the back of Levi's neck, his warm breath created goosebumps wherever it hit Levi's skin. Eren placed a soft, lingering kiss against the base of the Captain's neck. "You know, Levi, I rather like cuddling with you." Levi hummed in acknowledgement, shifted backwards to press his back into Eren's chest. 

The man had relaxed once more, content in Eren's arms. "We should get some sleep, though."

"Can we cuddle while we sleep?"

Levi chuckled slightly at Eren's eager voice. "Yeah, brat, we can cuddle while we sleep."

Eren seemed to hesitate before his next words. "Can we do it again tomorrow night?"

Levi sighed contentedly. He linked his fingers with Eren's, shivering when he felt Eren place another kiss on his neck. "We can do this every night, for as long as you want."

"If that's the case, we'll be doing this forever." Levi chuckled, the sound low in his throat, and Eren placed another kiss to the Captain's neck. "Goodnight, Levi."

"Goodnight, Eren."


End file.
